Cy's Halloween Yarn

This is USBC Television

It is now 8:00 pm, EDT, and many of you have concluded your trick-or-treating for the year ad hope for a better round next year.

Meanwhile, we here now bring you two special episodes of our new sitcoms here on Saturday night. First up is a special Halloween edition of The Quantum Argonauts, which we hope will be entertaining for you.

We now begin the program.

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As the mikes open on this Saturday, Cy and Conrad are seated and ready to go on the Halloween edition of their weekend show, The Quantum Argonauts.
As the theme music plays, Cy readies his opening remarks.
"Hello again, people, this is Cy Scott talking on this Halloween night. I hope all you ghosts and gals are ready for tonight." says Cy.
"I don't think Halloween is really like that anymore." says Conrad.
"How do you know? You've never seen a ghost, have you?" says Cy.
"They don't exist, Cy." says Conrad.
"Oh, yes, they do, and tonight's their night." says Cy.
"Got the Halloween spirit, I see." says Conrad.
"That I do. I always feel at one with the one time of the year where what we think is real becomes a question." says Cy.
"How phrased, Cy." says Conrad.
"My mother acted in a few horror flicks and I always feel that I got my love of this holiday from them." says Cy.
"That's wonderful. Now, let's move on with our show." says Conrad.
"I agree. However, instead of our usual discussion time, let's embrace the holiday with something more in line with the time at hand." says Cy.
"Like a ghost story?" asks Conrad.
"Exactly. I have prepared one for tonight and I will impart it with you." says Cy.
"I can't wait to hear what kind of tale you've thought of for our listeners." says Conrad.
"Let me set the scene. In the southwestern portion of the state of Michigan, there lies the small town of Buchanan, population of about 5,000 people of all types, where life proceeds at a usual pace." says Cy.
"What a start." says Conrad.
"Quiet, Conrad. Anyway, our story begins three weeks before Halloween night had begun and the town itself was getting ready." says Cy.
The scene then dissolves into the story as the town of Buchanan comes into view. Upon its main road, dubbed Front Street, the signs of the oncoming holiday are hung.
Riding his bike down the sidewalk is Buck Berline, a carefree 22-year-old. As he passes the store fronts, which gave the street its name, he breathes in the fall air.
The other citizens ignore him as they put up Halloween decorations on their shop fronts. One of those other citizens, Buck's friend, Tuck Thompson.
"Hello there." says Buck as he brings his bike to a stop.
"Hello, Buck." says Tuck.
"I see you're putting up a paper pumpkin." says Buck.
"They don't rot, like real ones." says Tuck.
"I prefer the real ones." says Buck.
"Whatever you say." says Tuck.
"Only three weeks until Halloween. It's just like waiting for Christmas, except you get to scare people." says Buck.
"That's all Halloween is to you?" says Tuck.
"It's how I see it. It allows us to do things that would be weird the rest of the year. This time of the year makes those things a normal thing." says Buck.
"What a fountain of straight lines you are." says Tuck.
"I do my best but I could never this, the first language of my birth." says Buck.
"You'll get it, one of these days." says Tuck.
Just then, a man rushes by the two in a hurry. Behind him is another man, shouting at the first man, "Come back here, you... "
"Who's that?" asks Tuck.
"Probabaly Jon, getting a three-week head start on his Halloween antics." says Buck.
"Most likely." says Tuck.
Jon makes his run down the street, with the other man giving chase.
"Shall we help him?" asks Tuck.
"Lets." says Buck.
The two then make their way over to the other man, who has run out of breath and is bent over.
"I'll get him, one of these days." says the man.
"Excuse me, sir, we couldn't help but notice you giving chase to that boy." says Buck.
"I had to. That's the only way I was to kill him." says the man.
"Over what?" asks Tuck.
"He just threw a dozen eggs at my house." says the man.
"Well, there are only a dozen in a carton." says Buck.
"He threw them right at my window." says the man.
"Well, you can clean it off, then." says Buck.
"I want him to do it." says the man.
"That's a wish." says Buck.
"I might as well do it, since I know he won't." says the man, who then limps away.
"I wonder where Jon is." says Tuck.
"I think I have an idea." says Buck as he walks away, with Tuck following behind.
The two walk their way to Memories Tavern, one of the many highlights of the town. As music plays on the jukebox, Buck and Tuck walk in and spot Jon at a stool.
"Hello, Jon." says Buck.
"Hello, Buck." says Jon.
"Me and Tuck saw you getting chased down the street." says Buck.
"Is that right?" says Jon.
"Jon, why did you unload a whole carton of eggs on someone's window?" asks Buck.
"Just getting a head start on Halloween." says Jon.
"At least wait a little more before getting that head start." says Buck.
"Why should I listen to you, bag boy?" asks Jon.
"I'm a stock boy. Tuck's on check-out." says Buck.
"Who cares?" says Jon.
"One of these days, you're gonna stop this stuff and become an adult." says Buck.
"Never gonna happen." says Jon.
"Buck, I think we better get to work." says Tuck.
"All right." says Buck, who then walks away, with Tuck following behind.
"What a great story so far, Cy." says Conrad, back in the WHYP studio.
"Don't interupt me, Conrad." says Cy.
"So sorry, Cy." says Conrad.
"Now where was I?" asks Cy as the scene goes back to Buchanan, this time to Lowery's Grocery, a small market near the city limits.
Inside the store, Buck is working away, stocking shelves with product that people will buy.
"Too many cheap knock-offs." says Buck.
Tuck is working at the checkout line, scanning the purchases of the customers.
"Good, good, good, good... " repeats Tuck as he scans each item.
"I can't believe you can make a knockoff of canned peas." says Buck as he places a can on the shelf.
He then picks up the empty box and starts making his way to the back of the store. As he enters the back of the store through the pair of doors, he hears the sound of laughing.
Buck puts the box down and walks over to the front door of the walk-in freezer, where two men are talking.
"That's a wonderful story. I can't believe it you know that." says one of the men.
"It was an old story when I was your age." says the other man.
"What story would that be, Sid?" asks Buck.
"Oh, Buck. Let me tell you, this is a good one." says Sid.
"What is it?" asks Buck.
"The story of Old Man Simpleton." says Sid.
"I've heard it before." says Buck.
"Let me refresh your memory. Old Man Simpleton was a man with strange ideas that few remember what they were. They remember the way he would keep people from his house. Any kid knew never to set foot on his lawn, lest they earn their demise." says Sid.
"I know that part well." says Buck.
"Well, strange noises were heard, and then, one day, he just disappeared from sight, never to be heard or seen again." says Sid.
"I know that, too." says Buck.
"What you don't know is what happened to him." says Bill, the butcher.
"No one knows." says Buck.
"Well, I hear that he had these weird experiments and that they killed him." says Bill.
"I hear that he became one of his experiments." says Sid.
"And I hear that he just disappeared." says Buck.
"You don't believe in that story, do you?" says Sid.
"I happen to enjoy for its entertainment value, and that's the only thing it is." says Buck.
Just then, Tuck enters the back room.
"Sid, I need you to take my post for the rest of the day." says Tuck.
"I guess it's my turn." says Sid.
"We all do time at the register, Sid." says Buck.
"Yeah, but most of the time is me." says Sid.
"What were you guys talking about before I came back here?" asks Tuck.
"The tale of Old Man Simpleton." says Bill.
"What a subject." says Tuck.
"Buck here says he doesn't really believe in it." says Bill.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think the story is true." says Buck.
"Come on, Simpleton's old house is a fixture of this town." says Tuck.
"It's an old abandoned house. Simpleton could've easily moved out without anyone noticing." says Buck.
"What I've already said is true." says Sid.
"Then why don't you prove it to me, eh?" says Buck.
"How?" asks Sid.
"Take me into that house and show me Old Man Simpleton's bones, if they're there." says Buck.
"Really?" says Sid with a gulp.
"Come on, you're not scared. Just because whatever killed him might still be around... " says Buck.
"I'll do it." says Sid.
"When?" asks Tuck.
"Tonight, you, me, and Sid." says Buck.
"Why am I a part of this?" asks Tuck.
"Because we need someone to relate the story of our deaths, if you manage to escape." says Buck.
"Okay, I'll go." says Tuck.
"If you'll excuse me, I'll gotta go man the register." says Sid, who then makes his leave.
"Should we really be doing this?" asks Tuck.
"Why not? Besides, it will finally rid this town of those stories." says Buck.
"Another one of those haunted house tales. Eh, Cy?" says Conrad back in the studio.
"I assure you, Conrad, it is not." says Cy.
"Prove it to me, Cy, because I've heard them all." says Conrad.
"That's what Buck and Tuck were saying to themselves as they journeyed with Sid over to Old Man Simpleton's house." says Cy as the scene return to Buchanan in the dim evening light.
"I don't know about this, Buck." says Tuck as he, Buck, and Sid walk to where the house stands.
"We gotta to do this. We must either prove or disprove the stories about this house." says Buck.
"I just hope nothing bad happens." says Sid.
"You're not afraid, are ya?" asks Buck.
"I am not. I'm just concerned." says Sid.
"I'm a little concerned, too." says Buck.
"There's the house." says Tuck.
The house is a decaying structure. The wooden sides have half-rotted and many of the roof tiles have slid off. Vines and plants have grown their way onto the house itself and the lawn is covered in tall grass.
"Shall we?" says Sid.
"Lets. You first, Sid." says Tuck.
"No, you go first, Tuck." says Sid.
"You go, Buck." says Tuck.
"No, Sid goes first." says Buck.
"I guess I have no choice." says Sid.
Sid tip-toes his way up the grass-covered walk up to the the front door of the house, careful not to make any noise whatsoever.
"I hope he makes it." says Tuck as Sid reaches the crumbling stone steps to the door.
Sid makes his slow way up the stone stairs to the door. When he reaches it, he stalls, looking at the peeling wood paneling that makes up the door.
"Open it." says Buck.
Slowly, Sid put his hand on the door and pushes it. The door opens slightly with the touch. Sid then pushes the door further until it is opened enough for entry.
With a waving gesture, Buck and Tuck make their way up to the open door.
"Now, who's going in first?" asks Tuck.
"Sid." says Buck, gesturing to Sid to go in.
Sid makes his way inside the house. As soon as he has entered, he gestures to Buck and Tuck to come in, which they do.
As they stand inside the doorway, they see that the inside is worse than the outside. The furniture has all but decayed into a fibered mess and the wood tables look shattered on the floor. The floor itself is in a deep state of decay, with rotting on every other floorboard.
"Well, here we are." says Buck, turning on his flashlight, like the others.
"Now, what do we do?" asks Tuck.
"I think we should split up." says Buck.
"How?" asks Sid.
"I'll take the first floor, Tuck the second floor, and Sid the basement." says Buck.
"Why do I get the basement?" asks Sid.
"Because it fits you." says Buck as the three begin moving off in different directions.
Sid slowly walks around, looking for the door that leads to the basement. Tuck, meanwhile, is looking for the stairs that lead to the second floor.
Sid soon reaches the door to the basement. The door is slowly decaying, like the rest of the house, but part of it has been torn off its hingers, allowing the light to shine into the darkness.
Tuck, meanwhile, has reached the stairs to the second floor. As the beam of light moves up the stairs, Tuck stands at the bottom.
Sid pushes the broken door aside and makes his way to the edge of the stairs. He shines his light down and picks up nothing but black.
Slowly, Sid places one foot on the top step. The step creaks with the weight of Sid's foot. Sid does his best to keep the noise down as he takes the other foot and places it on the step.
Back by the other stairs, Tuck has done the same as he begins his climb to the second floor.
With each creak, Sid makes his way down to the dark basement, where quiet is heard. As Sid makes his way, the light shines down more until it reaches the bottom of the steps.
Tuck is slowly making it to the second floor. The spot of the light grows as he nears the top. Tuck soon reaches the top of the stairs and sighs some relief.
Sid reaches the bottom of the basement steps and shines his light around, picking up more blackness. Sid then slowly moves to the right of the steps.
Sid finds a empty doorway and walk through it into another room. The room is filled with scientific equipment and chemicals. The air reeks of a foul odor.
Sid shines his light around the room as he moves, seeing nothing much except more lab equipment. The equipment is covered in cobwebs and spider webs.
Sid shines his light on the floor and sees strange footprints in the dust. He then hears strange noises, coming from all around him.
Sid's pace quickens a bit as he moves around the room. Eventually, he comes back to the door he came through. He shines his light out of the doorway and sees nothing. With a flash, Sid moves back through the doorway.
Sid then hears the strange noises again. This time, he can pick the direction they're coming from. He shines his light in that direction and sees nothing. He moves towards the sound slowly.
After a minute, Sid comes upon another empty doorway and walks through it. He finds himself in a room of iron cages, all of which look damaged, as if something had escaped from them.
The noises he's been hearing are suddenly very loud in his ear. He shines his light around the room with nervous hands and finds nothing.
Suddenly, he feels something watching him closely. He shines his light around again and finds nothing again. He still feels like he's been watching him and slowly, he makes his way backwards toward the doorway.
Suddenly, with force, he feels something thrown itself against him and he falls to the floor with a thud. Sid looks up and sees a black shape over him. The shape looks at him and then, it moves right at him.
"What happened, Cy?" asks Conrad, back in the studio.
"Conrad, I'm about to tell what's happening, so be quiet." says Cy.
"I'm sorry." says Conrad.
"That's okay. I think you're starting to get into it." says Cy.
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." says Conrad.
"Now, where was I?" says Cy as the scene returns to the house of Old Man Simpleton.
Tuck is making his search of the second floor. He shines his light on the floor and sees the same strange footprints as Sid in the dust.
Tuck then hears a noise. Slowly, Tuck reverses direction and heads his way backwards to the stairs. When Tuck reaches the stairs, he turns forward, take one final look, and bolts his way down the stairs.
When Tuck reaches the bottom, he bumps into Buck with a thud and they both fall to the floor.
"Tuck, what is with you?" asks Buck.
"I had to get back down here." says Tuck.
"Did you find anything?" asks Buck as both he and Tuck get off the floor.
"Not a thing, fortunately." says Tuck.
"Nothing down here, either. I wonder what Sid has found." says Buck.
"You mean, he hasn't returned?" asks Tuck.
"I'm afraid so." says Buck.
"What if something's got him?" says Tuck.
"Don't overreact, Tuck." says Buck.
"I know. I just can't help it." says Tuck.
"Help it. Let's go find Sid." says Buck as he moves off.
Tuck quickly follows and the two walk in the direction of the basement steps. Sid is quickly making his way up the steps, holding on to his shoulder as he makes it to the top. As he rounds a corner, he bumps into Buck and Tuck.
"What's wrong with you?" asks Buck.
"Something attacked me down there. It bit my arm." says Sid as he moves his hand to reveal the wound.
"Tuck, I think we better get out of here and bandage that wound." says Buck.
"I couldn't agree more." says Tuck, who then bolts for the front door.
All three soon make their way out of the house and down the street, Sid still covering his wound as they make their way down the street.
At Buck's house, Buck is bandaging Sid's wound.
"Why can't a doctor do this?" asks Tuck.
"And get us arrested? I think not. I have to go to work tomorrow." says Buck.
"Excuse me, I'm the one with the wound here." says Sid.
"I know, and when I'm through, no one can tell the difference." says Buck.
"I hope so." says Sid.
"What did you see down there?" asks Tuck.
"I don't know. I couldn't tell." says Sid.
"It bit you and you couldn't tell what it was." says Buck.
"My flashlight had been knocked out of my hand. All I saw was this big, black shape on me. I only got a glimpse of it when it bit me and ran off." says Sid.
"There, all done." says Buck.
"Can I go now?" asks Sid.
"Yes, you may." says Buck.
Sid then takes his leave and exits Buck's house.
"I wonder what it was that bit Sid?" says Tuck.
"We'll never know, will we?" says Buck.
"You got that right." says Tuck.
"And so, Buck and Tuck make their way to their individual beds in their individual houses and sleep without a clue as the night passes." says Cy, back in the studio.
"I am starting to get really interested in this story." says Conrad.
"Well, I've only just started." says Cy.
"What happens next?" asks Conrad.
"Well, let's move ahead two days, to the evening hours, to a setting sun." says Cy as the scene returns to Buchanan in the manner of Cy's description.
The sun is making its way down as Buck, Tuck, and Sid toil at Lowery's. Buck and Tuck are sitting in the back room of the store, waiting for the work day to end.
"In a hour, we are officially off the clock and I have something planned." says Buck.
"What would that be?" asks Tuck.
"I've finally completed the building of my own car." says Buck.
"Not that piece of wood on wheels?" says Tuck.
"Tuck, this will be a wonderful way to get around." says Buck.
"I hope you get it tagged as a car and not a piece of wood." says Tuck.
"I can pull it off." says Buck.
At the check-out line, Sid is passing items over the scanner, with the beeps as they pass by. As Sid moves the last item, he sees a small patch of hair on the back of his hand. He stares at it but it disappears and Sid shrugs it off.
Buck and Tuck come walking out of the back room and walk their way to the front of the store, to the manager's cage.
"Excuse me, sir? If you don't us anymore today, get we go?" says Buck.
"I guess you can cut out early." says the manager.
"Then we'll do that." says Buck, who then leaves the manager's cage with Tuck in tow.
"What are you guys doing?" asks Sid.
"We're leaving." says Buck.
"What for?" asks Sid.
"I'm gonna take Tuck on the test ride of my car." says Buck.
"That thing you've been building?" says Sid.
"Just finished it. Now, I want to see if it works." says Buck.
"Tell me how it went." says Sid.
"We will." says Buck, who then turns to leave the store with Tuck following behind.
Buck and Tuck make their way to Buck's house, where the car that Buck has been building stands.
"I can't believe it. It took me four months, 22 trips to the junkyard, a pile of wood, and a whole lot of blood, sweat, and tears, but I built a car." says Buck.
"Me, neither. There's no way that this thing works." says Tuck.
"We won't know until we get in and start it up." says Buck.
"Shall we climb in?" asks Tuck.
"Lets." says Buck as he climbs into the car's driver seat.
Tuck places himself in the front passenger seat.
"Ready to go?" asks Buck.
"I guess." says Tuck.
Buck then reaches down and turns the built-in key on the engine. With a roar, the engine comes to life and Buck takes hold of the steering wheel, which he got off a '58 Ford.
"Here we go." says Buck as he releases the brake and presses his foot on the gas pedal.
The car, with a shake, then slowly moves out of the driveway and onto the street. The car then moves away from the house.
"I can't believe it's working." says Tuck.
"I know." says Buck.
The car makes its way to the end of the street. The main road looks empty as Buck looks both ways.
"Is it safe?" asks Tuck.
"Let's go." says Buck as he moves the car onto the main road.
Elsewhere in town, Sid has left work and has made a date with Lila, his girlfriend. As the two walk down the street, the two lovers are enjoying the evening air.
"I can't believe two people like us can be in love." says Lila.
"Of course I can believe it." says Sid.
"Look at that sky. It's so romantic." says Lila.
"I can't believe it." says Sid.
"The moon's even out tonight." says Lila.
"And it's full." says Sid.
"I can see it." says Lila.
"You better keep an eye out for werewolves." says Sid.
"You don't believe in those things, do you?" asks Lila.
"I don't. I just don't believe they exist. Buck thinks they do." says Sid.
"Well, he's entitled to his beliefs." says Lila.
"That's weird." says Sid.
"What is it?" asks Lila.
"I feel a little weird." says Sid.
"Maybe you feeling the love for me." says Lila.
"I don't think that's it." says Sid.
Suddenly, he looks down back at his hand and the patch of hair has reappeared, and it's growing across the hand. He looks at the other hand and sees the same thing.
"Lila, I think it's time I went home." says Sid, who then speeds off down the street.
As Lila watches Sid run out of sight, Buck's car pulls onto the street. Buck spots Lila and slows down the car.
"Good evening, Lila." says Buck as the car stops.
"What is that thing?" asks Lila.
"It's the car I built myself. It runs great. Want a ride?" says Buck.
"I pass." says Lila.
"I thought you and Sid were on a date tonight." says Tuck.
"We were, until he bolted off, just now." says Lila.
"He must have heard your car coming." says Tuck.
"Don't be funny." says Buck.
"I don't what happened to make him just leave me like that." says Lila.
"I have an idea." says Tuck.
"He's not like that." says Lila.
"Well, the offer to ride on this thing is still open." says Buck.
"Again, I pass." says Lila, who then walks down the street.
"I hope people will like this car." says Buck.
"They haven't, so far." says Tuck.
"Be quiet." says Buck as the car gets moving again.
Sid runs his way home, with the hair on his hands still growing. He makes it, and runs into his bedroom. He locks the door and an amazing thing starts to occur.
Hair starts to appear on his face, beginning with his cheeks. Hair growing in many places and spreads across his body. His fingers turn into sharp claws. Finally, after all that, Sid has found that he has turned into a... werewolf!
In shock, back in the studio, Conrad falls back onto the floor in his chair with a thud.
"Conrad, you've ruined the suspense of a dramatic moment with that." says Cy.
"I can't help it. I was taken it." says Conrad.
"Even you should have seen it coming." says Cy.
"I didn't. I was in surprise the whole time." says Conrad.
"Can I move on?" asks Cy.
"Go right ahead." says Conrad as he rights his chair.
In the control room, Mr. Gold enters the room.
"Okay, time to switch over to Prairie Home Companion." says Mr. Gold.
"But I wanna hear more of Cy's story." says the engineer.
"Switch over." says Mr. Gold.
The engineer then moves his hand and switches the feed to Mr. Gold's office from what going out on the air to the Prairie Home Companion feed.
"There, they're cut off." says the engineer.
"Good." says Mr. Gold, who then leaves.
"Now, where was I?" says Cy as the scene moves to the early night, an hour following Sid's transformation.
Sid is running around in his werewolf form, quicker then he has ever run. The sights and sounds around him are enhanced. Every thing is different.
Meanwhile, Buck and Tuck are continuing their drive in Buck's car.
"Ready to go home?" asks Buck.
"Yes, I am." says Tuck.
Buck then turns the car back the way it came. As it moves along one street, the transformed Sid rushes by, unknown to Buck and Tuck, who just see a fast-moving black shape.
"What was that?" asks Tuck as Buck stops the car.
"I don't know." says Buck.
"Must be something." says Tuck as the car resumes moving.
"We don't have the time to investigate." says Buck.
A few minutes later, Buck and Tuck are pulling into Buck's driveway.
"The test run of my car is completed. Now, time to begin my next project, a homemade helicopter to do my solo circumnavigation of the world." says Buck.
"Whatever you say, Fibber." says Tuck as the car comes to a stop.
The two get out of the car and Buck walks around to the passenger side.
"I'll make a few more test runs." says Buck.
"Good idea. What was that thing we saw?" says Tuck.
"I don't know, Tuck. I guess we'll never know." says Buck.
The next day, Sid is working the check-out line, still unnerved by what happened last night. As he finishes another customer's load of groceries, Buck comes up from behind.
"Hello, Sid." says Buck, surprising Sid.
"Don't do that!" says Sid.
"Sorry. I just wanna let you know that my car ran great yesterday." says Buck.
"Is that so?" asks Sid.
"It ran very well. I plan taking another test drive today. Would you like to be my passenger?" says Buck.
"Why can't you get Tuck to do it?" asks Sid.
"I asked him and he doesn't want another ride." says Buck.
"He actually rode in that thing?" asks Sid.
"He did. So, will you take his place today?" says Buck.
"I'll think about it." says Sid.
Just then, Sid looks down at his hands and sees the hair returning. He quickly hides his hands behind his back and runs off towards the back of the store.
"I wonder what got into him all of a sudden? Oh, well." says Buck, who then takes the checkout line and sees to the next customer.
Sid runs his way into the back of the store and into the boiler room. There, he closes the door behind him and locks him.
As he undergoes the transformation for a second time, Bill walks into the back and over to the freezer to pull a few pieces of meat out. He hears Sid groan as he transforms. Since the sounds are coming from the boiler room, he figures it must be the boiler and continues about his business.
Buck works the checkout for several hours. As the end of the day nears, Tuck walks up to Buck.
"Almost time to go." says Tuck.
"Don't I know it." says Buck.
"Planning on testing your car again?" asks Tuck.
"Of course. I need to test the headlights. They were a special project during the car's construction and I just wanna see if my method paid off." says Buck.
"I hope so. Where's Sid?" says Tuck.
"He ran off towards the back of the store unexpectedly." says Buck.
"What's gotten into him?" asks Tuck.
"I have no idea. Now, about my car, I need a passenger for this second drive." says Buck.
"I've already told you. I'm not doing it." says Tuck.
"I'll find someone." says Buck.
In the back of the store, Sid, still in werewolf form, sees the clock in the boiler room point to closing time and makes his escape out of the back door of the store and into the brushwork that fills the area on the outskirts.
Buck walks his way home and gets into the driver's seat of his car and rolls it onto the road. As he turns the car onto the main road, he sees the red-haired Margie, Buck's current girlfriend.
"Evening, ma'am." says Buck as he moves the car up to her.
"Hello, Buck. I see you've finished your car." says Margie.
"I have. This is the second test run. I performed the first yesterday, with Tuck as my passenger." says Buck.
"Why isn't he with you this time?" asks Margie.
"He opted out of this one. I'm planning on testing the headlights on this run, so I feel I need a passenger that can help me in the dark in case they fail." says Buck.
"I'll help you. I've wanted a turn on this thing ever since the day you thought it up." says Margie as she climbs on board.
"Then let's get moving." says Buck as he pulls the car back into traffic.
Meanwhile, the transformed Sid is still running around, under the light of the full moon. He keeps running within the brushwork as night falls on Buchanan.
Sid soon stops running when he hears an interesting noise. He looks around and sees Buck's car, rolling down the street with its headlights turned on. The light coming from them has a searchlight-type quality to them as it pours all over the street. Margie is amiring the car as it moves.
"Oh, Buck. I can't believe you actually got this to work." says Margie.
"It's my way of actually getting a car in this economic climate." says Buck.
"Maybe other people will start building their own cars." says Margie.
"I don't wanna put Detroit out of business, Margie. I just built a better car." says Buck.
"Well, I just feel wondeful around you." says Margie.
"Stick with me and I will show you a lot of things." says Buck.
Sid, listening, moves closer to the car as it moves. Eventually, he moves to a bush by the side of the road. In a quick flash, Sid darts from the bush and onto the middle of the road, right in front of Buck's car.
The car coming to a screeching halt and Margie lets off a scream as both occupants start at the creature in their path. Sid stares at them for a moment before moving quickly off into the darkness.
"What was that?" asks Margie.
Buck thinks it over for a moment, for, in his mind, he was sure he regonized the creature as someone familiar. Rather than admit this, he tells Margie, "Just a weird critter", and moves the car forward again.
During the course of the following day, Buck went over the sight in his mind. Each time he reviewed it, he was sure of the feeling of familiarity but couldn't place it. Stocking shelves gives a man a chance to search his mind. However, Buck's pondering wasn't one step closer to figuring out what or who the thing was that ran out in front of his car.
The end of the day once again falls on Buchanan and Buck, who decides not to take out his car for a third run just yet. Meanwhile, Sid finds himself transformed again and again running around under the cover of darkness.
During the night, many of those citizens of Buchanan who make their liveihood in the dark of the Earth's nightside find themselves spotting the werewolf Sid.
The first one is a woman tending to her night garden. In a special flowerbed grow various flowers and plants which require the dark of night to bloom. As she tends to one sick flower, she hears a sound.
She looks up and sees the fast-moving shape of Sid jumping into the yard over the fence and over the other fence. The sight jolts her from her gardening and she hurries back inside.
One of the next people to see is a drunk, walking out of another of the town's highlights, Marzoos'. As he staggers down the sidewalk, the sight of the running Sid jolts the man for a moment out of his stupor, if only to re-enter it when the feeling has passed.
Many more people see the running Sid as he finds himself over-powered by what he happens to be now. His very nature now has changed. He strangely finds himself craving something he not knows what.
The night soon again passes and morning arrives. Buck finds himself assigned to the checkout line and Sid as stock boy. As Buck passes item after item, he hears the people talk about a strange creature that has been seen over the past couple of nights.
Buck doesn't admit to his sighting of the creature, for he is still pondering over why he was overcome with familiarity at the sight of it. He feels if he admitted it, he might be labeled something he doesn't want to be.
Another end of the day comes and this time, Buck turns off his ponder and asks Tuck if he would like to join him in the third test run of the new car. Tuck, this time, agrees to it.
"So, you've tested the car twice now?" asks Tuck as they reach Buck's car.
"I have, and each time, it has been working great." says Buck.
"So, what's the purpose of this test run?" asks Tuck.
"I need to fill up the tank. I checked the gas gauge after the completion of my second test run and I need to refill." says Buck.
"So, why the need to call it a test?" asks Tuck.
"Because I've been running it off kerosene and I need to see if it'll run on regular gasoline." says Buck.
"I see." says Tuck.
"I hope you would." says Buck as he climbs into the car.
Buck again puts the car into motion and runs it onto the street. As he makes its way down the street, he check the gas gauge and it reads nearly empty after two long test runs.
He rolls the car into the gas station across the way from Lowery's and pulls up to one of the pumps. Buck then activates the brake and doesn't turn off the engine.
"What's going on?" asks Tuck.
"I'm waiting for the car to run out of fuel. I don't want to mix fuels." says Buck.
"Well, if you say so." says Tuck.
As Buck lets the car use up the last of its fuel, the clerk on duty, Yeardley, inside the station sees the strange vehicle. Curious, she wanders away from her post and walks outside to get a closer look at it.
As this is going on, Tuck sees the approching Yeardley and alerts Buck to it.
"Hello, Yeardley." says Buck.
"What is that thing?" asks Yeardley.
"This is the car that I built myself." says Buck.
"You actually built it? I thought you were kidding." says Yeardley.
"I wasn't." says Buck.
"What are you guys doing?" asks Yeardley.
"I'm waiting for the car to use up its fuel. You see, I filled it with kenosene for its first two test runs. I'm running low, so, rather than mix fuels, I'm waiting for the kenosene to run dry so I can fill the car with its first load of gasoline." says Buck.
"Well, I'll take that, because I don't wanna hear the long one." says Yeardley.
Just then, the car sputters and slowly quits working as the last of its fuel is used.
"All gone. Now, time for its next test." says Buck as he climbs out of the car.
He walks over to the gas pump and takes out the nozzle. He then walks over to a spot on the car where Buck has placed the intake pipe. He opens the hatch door on the pipe and puts in the nozzle.
With a squeeze, the gasoline start flowing into the now-empty tank of the car. As the numbers click away, Buck keeps one eye on the gas gauge.
When the gas gauge reads full, Buck removes the nozzle and places it back on the pump. One look at the price gauge on the pump and Buck removes the right amount of money from his wallet and gives to Yeardley.
"I guess this is only the first visit of your car at this gas station." says Yeardley.
"Count on it." says Buck, who then climbs back into the car and drives it away.
The car, now running on regular gasoline, runs as well as it has so far.
"Well, now we know the car can run on regular gasoline." says Buck.
"It can be taken anywhere now." says Tuck.
"I know it." says Buck.
The re-fueled car makes its way down the streets of Buchanan as the sun sets. Meanwhile, Sid has transformed once more and is running in the darkness of the brushwork that covers the town.
The headlights are soon turned on and the car continues its ride. As it rounds one corner, the transformed Sid runs from a line of brushwork into the path of the vehicle. This time, the car can't be stopped in time and it hits Sid and knocks him down, bringing the car to a stop.
"What was that?" asks Tuck.
"I don't know, Tuck. Let's take a look at it." says Buck.
"I'll stay here." says Tuck as Buck climbs out of the car and walks over to the front.
Buck takes a good look at what the car hit. He sees, with a few moments' thoughts, that it is the same thing he saw two nights ago.
"Tuck, I think you come over here." says Buck.
"Okay." says Tuck, who then climbs out of the car.
Tuck walks his way over to where Buck is standing.
"What is that thing?" says Tuck as he sees the body of the transformed Sid.
"I have no idea. Why don't we take it with us?" says Buck.
"So it can kill us when it has the chance?" says Tuck.
"No, it doesn't look dangerous." says Buck.
"That's because you just hit it with a car." sats Tuck.
"We gotta help it, Tuck." says Buck.
"Do we have to?" asks Tuck.
"Lift it up, Tuck." says Buck as he takes one end and picks it up off the street.
Tuck then picks up the other end with a slight recoil and helps Buck move it to the back seat of the car. When they finish moving it, Buck and Tuck climb back on board the car and drive off.
As the car makes its way down the street once more, Sid regains consciousness in the back seat and sees that he's in some strange vehicle. It takes him a moment to see that the fellow occupants of the car are Buck and Tuck. Sid then remembers Buck's self-built car and figures he must have been hit by it.
He remains laid down in the back seat as not to alert his friends. He wonders how his friends will take his new form. As he wonders, he overheard Buck and Tuck's discussion on the thing in the back seat.
"I can't believe you had to take it with us. Now, if it wants to kill us, it can." says Tuck.
"Don't worry. If it wakes up and wants to kill us, we just run from the vehicle." says Buck.
"Even if it means losing the work of four months?" says Tuck.
"I'll build another one. Relax, Tuck." says Buck.
"I can't relax with a man-eating creature in the back seat." says Tuck.
"I won't eat you." says Sid.
"Did I just hear Sid's voice?" asks Tuck.
"I did, too." says Buck.
"I wonder where it came from?" says Buck.
"From me." says Sid.
Buck then turns his head towards the back seat and sees Sid staring back at him.
"Hello, Buck." grins Sid.
"I think I know where it came from." says Buck.
"Where?" asks Tuck.
"The back seat." says Buck.
Tuck turns his head and looks in the back seat.
"Hello, Tuck." says Sid.
"Sid?" says Tuck.
"I guess this explains a few things." says Sid.
"Not really." says Tuck.
"What are you now, Sid?" asks Buck.
"I guess I'm what they might call a werewolf." says Sid.
"That's what I'd call it." says Buck.
"You're not gonna kill us?" asks Tuck.
"I won't." says Sid.
"I guess what attacked you in Old Man Simpleton's house was a werewolf." says Buck.
"I guess so." says Sid.
"Do we need to use sliver bullets?" asks Buck.
"No." says Sid.
"I can't believe it, Tuck." says Buck.
"What about?" asks Tuck.
"We actually know a werewolf." says Buck.
"You're right." says Tuck.
"Will you promise to keep this under your hats?" asks Sid.
"Why would we ruin our friendship with a werewolf?" says Buck.
"You can let me off here." says Sid.
Buck then brings the car to a halt as Sid rights himself.
"See you later, guys." says Sid, who then bolts from the car and runs into the night.
"The Buchanan Werewolf is our friend." says Tuck.
"And we are his protectors, for as long as he lives." says Buck.
"Let's go home." says Tuck.
"I'm with you." says Buck as he returns the car to a state of motion.
"And from that night on, Buck and Tuck made sure that the secret identity of the Buchanan Werewolf was kept only to them and no one else. They say that he can be seen on long fall nights, running away, keeping the town safe, but that's another story." says Cy as he concludes his story in the studio.
"What a great story. You actually told a Halloween story without all the usual Halloween tricks." says Conrad.
"I am a genius." says Cy.
"I think it's time we gave back the airwaves to Garrison Kellior." says Conrad.
"I think so. This concludes the Halloween edition of The Quantum Argonauts, and remember, if you see a strange thing on Halloween, just remember, it's just a friendly neighborhood creature out for the night." says Cy.

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This concludes the special Halloween edition of The Quantum Argonauts, which we hope to be the first in a long line of such specials.

Stay tuned for another special Halloween edition, this time of our other new sitcom on this night, The Sara Gilbert Show.

We also like to remind our viewers that The Quantum Argonauts will not be seen next week, so we may bring you a special news broadcast from one of our reporters in Iraq.

This is USBC Television.